My brother Joe told me that I needed to get back into blogging. 
My husband told me I should be blogging.

And they are very right.

I miss coming here, dumping some photos, some news, and even some ramblings of my thoughts get put down.  To be honest, I miss a lot of things this year.  And you, dear reader, can keep reading to see some of my (mostly internal) struggles.

In the summertime, my trainer/friend/caterer decided that she was no longer going to offer exercise classes at her studio anymore.  Her family was moving to a new home, and moving into busier times with her (DELICIOUS) catering business.  She has even asked me to work with her at events and I really enjoy the time (the money AND good food).  But, when she stopped classes, I didn't realize how much I would not be motivated to exercise on my own.  I HATE making decisions.  I hate big gyms, strangers, and I am not confident enough to find a place and set myself in the middle of everyone and not feel super uncomfortable.  I miss my friends.  I have retreated into my self-absorbed shell (or introvert cocoon, take your pick) and I have not come out yet.  It is VERY difficult for me to send a text (and calling is out of the question!) to invite anyone, or even plan something.  And the less I do it, the less I feel the need to keep doing it.  Especially if I get a negative response.  I feel like I am forgotten since I am not seen, and it makes me wonder.  Was I really such a good friend?  Did they really enjoy time with me?  So, you see, I am still here.

We are in the throes of teenagers in the house.  I feel so inadequate to this task.  And in confession, I am very often told that I need to get rid of some of my stress.  Sometimes, they say, I may find that teens can be "delightful."  Well.  Maybe by the next few kids.  (Y'all.  Pray for me)

Y'all know I have to talk about my brother.  His story is not mine to tell, but I do want to put down some of the things that I feel I want to remember. 

Joe and I grew up together. Being just 2 years apart, we had lots of fun growing up, and we homeschooled together for many years.  Some days we never even did any school.  But, Joe has always been the one that I would look up to.  He could charm a room of people at no bigger than 2 feet high.  He would go around the room and find the person who needed that smile, hug, or cheering up and he would make that happen.  Always giving.  And right now, as we see him going through this incredibly awful disease, he is still giving.  Still thinking of others.  And this selfish big sister has no words.  Not the right words to say, not enough hands, not enough hours, and not even an ounce of that joy, that giving to share, with anyone, but most especially with him. 

I'm going to admit that I was not prepared for the amount of leaking that comes from my eyes.  All.the.time.  Like I don't even realize it is happening until my vision gets blurry (Mass is a really big one).  My friend described it as "the gift of tears" but I am not so sure I would call this a gift.  And, since my skin screams at me when I cry too much (vanity, thy name is Fuzzy), it is quite a frustrating gift.  Some days I would like to return it.  Then I think of the beautiful gift that my brother has been given, and I cry more since I see my shortcomings.  Maybe I should just say that if you see me, I won't be offended if you offer me some Kleenex.  I usually need it. 

So I will admit, I have lots to work through in my head, and I am sure this won't be the last post about what is near and dear to my heart: family.    I do apologize that this seems to be a Debbie downer post, but I will add some goodness and some cute kids.  Promise.  Please keep praying for us all!

Hiking as a Family!

Tommy was the most excited about this outing.  We were going hiking as a family!  It was a very hot day, with a promise of waterfalls and a swim!  It was a long drive, and I am one for keeping my head down so I don't make those dreadful scared noises while my very capable husband drives.  So when my phone says "No service" I knew we were almost there.

 

 

The water was cold, and rocky.  The kids enjoyed some slides that were naturally made in the rocks.  Not the most smooth, but I was impressed that the big kids tried it out.

 

Not my usual habitat, but I was there!

I couldn't believe how well the kids hiked.  Not one complaint, or annoyance uttered, except maybe by myself.  James just wanted to be helpful and carry a backpack with the camelback water.  He wasn't a quick hiker, but was so happy to just be along and chat with Daddy, who slowed his pace to be with his little feet.  

 

The bigger kids were so fast, and Patrick had the next biggest pack.  All the scouting trips and hikes sure helped his endurance.  The falls we stopped at were the lower ones, as I knew by looking at how steep it was that the kids wouldn't make it.

 

And, most of all, it was lovely!

7 Quick Takes Friday: Otherwise known as the Push to Blog

I can't believe it's been almost a month since I have blogged.  I have so many pictures and events that I need to blog about, especially as the  school year is crawling, um coming to a close. 

7QT:

1. All the children are in the last quarter of school.  Officially.  We are in the final stretch, and will have a Kindergarten (whaaaa?) screening for James in the next week.  The kids are really having a great year, and I am very proud of their grades and hard work. 

2. My Patrick did a project on Saint Faustina and the Divine Mercy.  His teacher told my sister that he was a "genius" when he did his presentation.  This project has launched a beautiful devotion to this prayer and he has eaten up all the books and cd's he can find.  He even discovered an organization that has the mission to spread the message of Divine Mercy and he has made his plans to be part of them someday.  God willing, maybe as a priest.  But wow!  Grace is abounding in my young man.

3. William has just reached his next rank in scouts, officially.  He is now a Wolf scout. 

Next step for him is First Communion on Mother's Day weekend.  We will do it with his cousin, so the family will all be able to do all of it together.  Now, if I could just take care of his gifts to be sure they come in time. 

4. My days are very busy chasing Lucy, who has decided to climb on everything.  All chairs, tables, and couches are fair game.  She climbs and says, "Gee down!"  As she nods her head.  She is also at the take everything out, drop and keep going.  I am exhausted!  She repeats so many words, understands so much, and is just an all around stinker.  So cute.

5. I want to take a moment to draw your attention to my awesome husband in the photo above.  Notice anything?  My man has been dropping some serious weight.  He is doing incredible in his journey charting in over 50 pounds lost!  That scout shirt used to be much tighter.  He has been working out with my same trainer, and loves it.  It originally began with the 21 day fix, and he has just continued with that lifestyle of salads, fruits and veggies.  Lots of them!  (not to mention the money saved from packing his lunch every day)  To see the difference, at least from badge to badge, take a look at Tommy last March.

This is TRX and it is so much harder than it looks!  Look at that pike!  Lucy loves to join us when go, even though I go in the morning and Tommy goes at night, she is so good.  I don't usually let her roam around, but Tommy did and she loved being part of it all!  Um, but she will go back in her johnny jumper when I am at class. 

6. On a more personal note, April has not been an easy month.  Our family (my own, and my siblings) have had our share of some big crosses to handle.  Some health, financial, emotional, and some maybe they haven't even shared.  At Mass today, I felt the Gospel was aimed directly at me, from John 14: 1-6.
"Do not let your hearts be troubled."
"Master.....how can we know the way?"
"I am the way, the truth and the life."
I need to stop worrying.  I have to trust.  Even when I am going through a darker time when I feel alone, or "put upon" by my family, or overwhelmed in worry, I need to remember who is in charge and who has prepared a place for me in Heaven.  God has given me this life, with 5 children.  He will provide and take care of each one.  His Way.  The Way.

7. Last Saturday, I got the decorating bug.  Now, hold your horses, it wasn't a BIG bug, especially because this lady doesn't like bugs of ANY kind, but the big ones, **shudder**.  I decided to do some picture hanging, changing, and going through some boxes in the basement.  You know, boxes that have artwork in them from the last house that just haven't come out since we moved in, oh,  2 1/2 years ago. 

This is a wall sticker that I found at Target, and thought it was about time I put this up SOMEplace where we would have a good reminder.  The kitchen area above the light switch looked like one of the best places, as we are always there.  It's not super eloquent, but it is a great reminder for me each day.  I moved some other items to different walls, and hung a quote that I was SURE was by Saint Francis of Assisi.  Darn it all if I hung it, and my sister said it is NOT one of his.  Bummer though it is, I still like the quote.  "Preach the gospel always, and when necessary use words."  I found an article about this and I wasn't too keen on the writers take on the quote, even though we don't know who said it.  That's another post, not for a "quick take."

Linking up with Kelly for more SQT.