My kids have been telling me the same thing over and over lately. Each sentence starts with the phrase "you should/shouldn't have...." fill in the blank here.
"Mommy, next time you should make it this way"
"Next time we go here, we should go on this ride"
"You shouldn't have ordered/made me this"
"Mommy, you shouldn't have taken that toy away"
I have to admit, it is really frustrating. On one hand, they may have a good point about something. You learn from your experiences and make different decisions. Great. On the other hand, it feels like I am costantly being told what to do, how to do it, and how many things I have done wrong in their opinion. I especially get this phrase when I make dinner/lunch/breakfast and it may not be to their liking, though I haven't made anything unfamiliar lately.
I do not have a very high self confidence or esteem (shocker, I know). Those words coming from my children hurt my feelings, even at ages 4 and 5, and I KNOW they don't mean it in the way I am taking offense to. I second guess myself all day long, and this is tough for me. I know God is giving me this to help and humble me. Being a mom isn't an easy job, and I know that there are so many things I need to learn. Kids can teach me a lot (patience being the one I am working on soo hard) and I need to be more willing to listen. Do I say that phrase often? Is that where they are getting it? Do I live my life with a ton of regrets or "should haves"?
I would like to be able to fix this, but I am unsure how. Right now, all I do it try to get them not to say it. That usually involves a bit of fussing, since I am getting my defenses up, but I can't get them NOT to do it. They are very detirmined, and will keep trying to tell me how to do it, not to do it, should do it this way....Sigh. Don't get me wrong. I love being a mom, and my kids are so wonderful and sweet with many things. This, I guess, is my own thing I need to deal with, and how to deal will involve some more prayers. I know this won't be the ONLY thing that the kids will have an opinion about. How much longer until teenage years?