"Forgive and Forget." I always heard that while I was growing up, and usually it made sense to me. Do just that, in that order. But it always bothered me that I wasn't able to forget. I knew I was supposed to, but I had a hard time and I wondered if I was doing something wrong.
My temperament is mostly melancholic, and for those of you that know me will be "noddin' you head like, yeah." (sorry :)) I hold onto things: I re-live them, re-feel all the emotions involved, good or bad, but mostly bad. It's one of the things I need to work on, and one that often gets confessed in the little box at Church. One of the priests at our church told me something to help me, and it has made me do some thinking. He said (in his Spanish accent), "You won't forget what happened. That is hard to do for your brain. And you must forgive, and forgive every time you think of the hurt."
Whoa. I had never thought of it that way. I kept mulling it over and over all day long, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Jesus said that. "Not just seven times, but seventy times seven." Not just when he hurts you, but each time it comes up in your mind. It is ongoing. And something that is definitely going to change my thinking. That same day I was helping my mother sing at Mass, and the "Prayer of Saint Francis" (my patron saint) was the next song. I have sung that song my whole life, but those words really hit home this time: "It is in pardoning that we are pardoned." I am grateful that I was able to listen to God, and He knew that I needed to hear those things that day. As my mother always says, "Isn't God good?!"
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