Friday, June 12, 2009

Letter to the visitors who have taken residence in my home

Dear Visitors,

Hello! You have arrived. Every year I expect you about this time, since I know you must be so hot and uncomfortable crawling around in the grass, and those rocks can be so tough on your feet. Is the house cool enough for you? Oh, and I see you have found the stash of food my kids have dropped during their meals. Hope you enjoyed it. And you shared some with the family outside, good. Oh, and Miss? Up in the bedroom corner? I realize that you have made your bed up there, but I am afraid to tell you that meals aren't allowed in the bedrooms, or on the ceilings. You are VERY big, and I worry you may go hungry.

In the basement there are some new guests. I am not familiar with your name, but you have quite the leaping ability. Perhaps I missed your reservation? I do need to tell you that the guests are not permitted in the laundry room, as the staff does not enjoy being watched from the wall while she works. That you may leap on her back is a very uncomfortable feeling.

I hope you enjoyed your stay, but I regret that it will be a short one. Our home has decided not to allow any more visitors this year, or in the future. If you would be so kind as to clean up after yourselves and take all your belongings, you can depart at your earliest convenience.

Thank your for your understanding,

The Management

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