What's Fall Without A Halloween Post?

Of course we did Halloween!  We had a hugely busy day, and for the first time, we did not have all the kids together for Trick or Treating.  The older 2 were invited out with friends (super nice families) and we let them go!  I was excited that it meant Patrick has made some new strides at Seton, and new, bigger kid activities are opening to him.  Emma had a birthday celebration to go along with T or T. 

But first, we had a party at the Knights of Columbus.  All but Mommy were dressed in costume!  James asked me who I was dressed as, and the usual response from me is "a Mommy."

 Glinda, Minnie, Christopher Columbus, Baseball player, and Iron Man. 

A prize if you guessed James was "Larry Boy" and his super suction ears!  A friend loaned us this adorable creation by her mother, and James was thrilled to wear it.  Though a mask and glasses don't always go well together.

Now, a little backstory on Emma's costume.  This creation is from my senior year in high school musical, where I was Glinda!  The dress was so pretty, and just a little long (as I had a 5 foot wide hoop skirt when I wore it), so I pulled out my sewing machine and did some stitching! 

Now, if you have a costume on in the morning, and you decide to trick or treat later on, it's only natural that you pick another one, right?  Well, we had 2 fast changes that evening.

William decided to be a "Formal Apology" but he didn't tell folks what he was, so he didn't get as many laughs as I had hoped.  This one gives me the giggles.

The little guys all went out with Daddy, and shorter legs means less candy (thankfully).  Tommy even took sweet Lucy along with him.

 I was alone.  All alone in the house.  I got an itch to do some tidying.  I almost always sit outside and hand out candy.  Almost every year it is me.  And our neighborhood has long wait times in between.  So, I started to clean.  I left a big bowl outside, I had lights on, I would go to the door every now and then and wave at the neighbors.  Then I got distracted, and I look up and see a line of kids at my door, looking at me expectantly.

My bowl was gone. 
My candy was gone. 
GONE!  Not even an hour had gone by.  I was so upset.  Dratted kids.  I liked that bowl too.  But, it was my own fault.  I guess.  "Trick or treat!" 

But, I still had the Cutest Minnie in the world at my house!  Love this cutie patootie! 

They learn quickly!

"Lucy, why are you crying?"

Not a real question, but I often ask while I am bouncing her, or just so she can hear my voice.

From behind me (and this was more than one child), "Is she hungry?"

"Nope, she just ate."

"Did she burp?"

"Does she need a diaper change?"

"Is she pooping?"

Wow.  Makes my heart happy to know that they have learned so much about baby care!

Just Get Along!

 This afternoon, these two needed to just get along.  Please!  Just get along! I asked for something so simple, and it turned into a ridiculous event.  Embarrassing, yelling, in the yard, whole-neighborhood-can-hear-you-and-I-can-hear-you-in-the-house.  Ugh.

 After some tears (mine) and some fussing (me again), I decided they needed some extra togetherness and work-togetherness. I was not sure how this would work out, but as soon as I put it on them, they got excited.

I sent them to collect the garbage in the house, and to just GET ALONG!  This instantly brought them to giggles, and sweet words, and they were so silly and happy to do this together.  I didn't hear anymore fighting, and they really worked it out.  Why haven't I done this before??  Apparently, some of those things you see on Facebook are good for something!

God has been so good!

*I have had this post to write for at least a month, and I know I will not write it as well as I should but I feel the need to put this into some clumsy words.*

I am overwhelmed.  Absolutely overwhelmed with all the things that have happened to me in the last month.  But I have also been overwhelmed in another way.  As soon as I made it known that I was in the hospital, the offers of help came immediately, but not just offers, DOING.  My friends, school community, parish, just everyone.  Help in the form of prayers and actions.

After I was admitted to the hospital, I had visitors (who arrived without announcement, saying that I would have said no if they asked first.  I think they just may have been right).  Two friends bearing gifts (which still make me cry) and encouragement and joy from their company.  A visit from our parish priest who brought Jesus to me in absolution, anointing and the Eucharist.  Another couple from the Knights of Columbus, coming to the hospital for their own issues, made an effort to come and see me because they heard I was there.  My sister came at least twice with plenty of hospital needs: dry shampoo, ear plugs. :) My sister-in-law and sweet nephew came with smiles, singing (oh yes, he sings!) and comfort gifts. She then proceeded to set up a meal train for our family (the second offer of the day!).  It is put up on the facebook website for the School parents, and is filled by some ladies I have never even met!  (trying really hard to hold it together, but if this has lots of typos it's due to the tears) With one of the meals, my friend hands me a card.  Inside the card is a gift of a housecleaning.  Not just one, but maybe even 2!!!  Again, all contributions from our community and some ladies I have met maybe one time!!!

We had babysitting offers, carpooling offers, visits to the pool, you name it.  I am not one to take up babysitting offers, because, let's face it, I have 4 kids!  It's a lot to take on.  But one lady insisted, and came and took all 4 of my kids to the pool.  She is the mom of one of my dearest high school friends and my kids just love her to pieces.  My in-laws and my mom were here every day: driving, sitting, cooking, cleaning, coming when we called at 4AM, and still helping each day, especially with all my doctor's appointments.

I don't think I cried as often as I did in those first weeks of hospitalization and coming home, just from the incredible generosity and love shown by so many (as well as the stress), and it has just been unbelievable.  There is no way to thank all these people properly, or enough prayers to shower them in the same love they have shown our family.  My kids must been feeling that Mommy hasn't cooked in a long time, because the first few meals got them so excited.  One even said, "Mommy should get sick a lot more.  This is so yummy!"  LOL  The honesty of kids.

My gratitude is beyond expression, especially when I look back at the OTHER factors of our life and how  things could have been while I was off my feet.  God had a big hand in so much, and we need to trust!!

The Big Pot (Which when it is stirred, doesn't always work out) and a long story

That's the expression I used when I went to the doctor yesterday, and the way my head feels.  I feel like I have a Big Pot full of Doctors that are taking care (or say they are) taking care of me right now.  I have the staples - the onions and garlic, that I know, and when I scoop them out things go well.  But, some unfamiliar spices or flavors come out other times, and I am not happy with the result.  I mean, really?  Am I 85 years old that I need someone to specialize in every part of my body?  Endocrinologist, OBGYN, Urologist (x2), Interventional radiologist (IR), primary care, and I know I am forgetting a few others. 

My problem right now is that when I chose to go to the hospital closer, I had a different grouping of doctors helping me.  When I met with my OB yesterday, we were trying to figure out how we can switch over easily when I have the baby, so I can have the proper care while I am at the hospital delivering.  We weren't sure we could go to a different doctor after one had ordered us to put in the nephrostomy tube, but I will be having a C-section and while I am at the hospital I can do some things to speed the process of figuring where the stone is that was causing problems, and getting it and the tube OUT (I usually stay there 3 days since it's "MAJOR" surgery, as my mom says.).  So, I don't have a date for this baby.  I tried to plead my case for a little earlier than 39 weeks (October 8) but I am not sure they want to do that.  I have diabetes (baby is big, measuring 2 weeks ahead, but may not be completely developed lung-wise, even with the steroid shots I received, etc.) and we want to keep the baby safe.  I get it, and we saw the baby in a sonogram, saw her face, little mouth moving and some practice breathing, and I know I need to keep my eye on that sweet prize.  It's all for her.  God is in charge, I know!  But, the doctor listened, and said they would "discuss me" at the next meeting.  I will be back weekly, so I will be hopefully get a date soon.  I am going to be spending a lot of time in the car!

*Here comes the Long Story: Last Friday I took the kids to school for orientation, all by myself, I would add.  I knew something was wrong with the tube, and knew I was going to have to go in to see the IR that afternoon.  My mom came to help, and I drove off to the hospital.  Nurses are super sweet, and we go back into a room and they say it's a quick procedure, shoot some contrast in the tube to see what's going on.  I had the same doctor and buff nurse who remembered me from the week before, so I was at least very grateful for that.

I am put on a small table, on my side, wrapped in a lead apron, and then covered in a sterile drape: otherwise known as a big plastic tarp to cook me.  I had some layers of clothing on, and I was VERY sorry I did that.  It.was.sooo.hot.  I was trying to peel off layers without interrupting, but I was sure it would be quick and I thought I would just offer it up.  No biggie.  Doc starts working, tells me there is a kink in the line and they can do a 3 minute change.  Okay.  Numbing shot on the area and we can do this.  More to offer up.

An hour later, the doctor says something is wrong.  The quick change isn't possible because there is sediment build up IN the tube, as well as around the tube.  He says the change has to be a complete tube change, and he's very sorry.  Meanwhile, I am cooking, roasting, baking (one nurse even called me  "pig in a blanket" which I did NOT let slide, and he knew it, I gave him such a hard time), and my legs are cramping, and the nurse is fanning me between his running back and forth to the drawers for different size things.  It starts to hurt as my kidney is swollen, and that tube is STUCK.  He is pushing, pulling, and I am trying really hard to be a good patient.  He keeps apologizing, nurse keeps fanning me, and I am praying.  2 hours later, the doctor gets the tube out - and I KNOW he didn't, but it felt like he just yanked the darn thing out.  OH. MY. OHMYGOSHTHATHURTSOMUCH and I screamed.  I am so embarrassed but I did.  It continued to hurt, and I was a mess.  The nurses come running in, the doctor asks if I can be sedated and I didn't even have an IV.  Nurses shove one in my hand, and start shooting some meds into it, not much help with pain, but it helped to calm me a bit.  Just a bit, mind you.  My prayers got much louder, and I was a mess.  Then, he has to put a new one in, using the same lane into the kidney.  yikes.  I am totally upset, and he gets it in and then shows me the line he was fighting.  Covered in stuff on the outside.  No wonder.  My sweet Tommy is waiting for me in the room, and I cannot move for the pain.  Nurses give us instructions (thankfully!) and want us to come back every 2 weeks to change the tube, either the quick one or the long one.  My anxiety went through the roof, and all I could think was please please please put me under!  Which, they may just do to keep me okay.  Technically, that means 3 more changes.  3.more.times.  Hopefully, no more.  First one is Friday, a FIRST FRIDAY in the month, so I am pretty sure the Lord will be asking for some sacrifices on His day.

It's the Details that Make a Difference

Wow.  What a week it has been.  We have all been through so much and I am so worried about my family, and my stressed out husband.  The Lord has given me a lot of suffering, but he has some extra stresses right now and could use some prayers as well!

Just a few things that I wanted to remember while it is fresh in my brain.

• My mother and I made an executive decision to go to the hospital near us.  My OB doctor and the ones who handled everything last time is about 30-40 minutes away.  I thought that for ease of my husband (who is taking care of the kids), and that I might be able to get pain medicine sooner we should go close to home.  From this decision, I am afraid a lot of things went wrong that should not have.  They did not have my records so did not know my history (they had to get it faxed over) so it took longer to get pain medicine.  (ACK.  So awful.)  When I had my kidney issues last time, I had a "cocktail" as soon as the nurses saw me and heard me.
• Thinking back, I think it would have been better to have MY doctors around me.  Not that my care was bad from any of the doctors, but they didn't know me.  I missed my OB, an amazing office with Catholic, pro-life doctors.  Maybe it would have been better to deal with the same urologist that helped me last time.  (Yeah, I know.  Only God can tell me what WOULD have happened, and he isn't likely to do that.)
• After my nephrostomy procedure, I woke up with (JOY!) no pain anymore, and was so relieved that I did not ask very many questions about the procedure, follow up, care, etc.  I know I was under anesthesia, but Tommy wasn't.  They could have mentioned a few things to him about it.  But, I was at the hospital and I trusted that the nurses and doctors were taking care of me, and would know and help me.  I was there from Wednesday night until Sunday afternoon, and I did try to ask some questions, but they put me in the OB unit and it was a little more complicated.  I got lots of discharge papers about other things, but nothing for this tube coming out of my kidney and draining into a bag. 
• On MONDAY night, I was once again in pain.  Same pain, same area.  Bag was not being filled and I knew there was a problem.  We went back to the ER, and the ER doc said, "You need to flush this daily."  Oh.  Okay.  More narcotics, and saline to flush.  Frustration growing.  (On a lighter note, my dad said to me, "Didn't your mother teach you to flush?")
• On WEDNESDAY morning, at 4AM, we needed to go back to the ER.  Same thing, except this time, my tube is leaking (major ick factor) and I am hurting.  Again.  They did the same thing.  I thought it was fixed, but as I got home, I noticed my pants were wet.  Again.  BIG time annoyed.  I decided to make a stink.  I called the urologist, waited for a call back, and when one didn't happen, I told Tommy we were leaving.  I was trying to be patient and not get angry, as was my calm husband.  We would plant ourselves in the doctor's office until they saw me, or point us towards what we needed to do, or SOMETHING!!  So we did.  The urologist was super sweet, and tried to help us but admitted that they didn't have the parts to fix it, but then CALLED THE HOSPITAL for us, gave us an order, so we could go DIRECTLY to the Interventional Radiologist (who put in the nephrostomy) and we got to go right to where we needed to go for help.  Let me tell you, I was so hesitant that we were going to get help.  Just somebody help!  3 angels in scrubs entered our room: 2 nurses - one British, one very "pumped" male nurse and a DOCTOR!  First thing they said was that we are missing a piece to our tubing.  Oh geez.  As soon as that piece was put on, the bag IMMEDIATELY started filling up.  Then they start asking us how we were flushing it, and you know what? They looked at us and said "You aren't ever supposed to touch that part."  Great. So, with the help of these 3, we got all our questions answered AND, a PHONE NUMBER to call if we have another problem!  As we left, I burst into tears and just kept saying prayers of thanks.
• I am hesitant to say that everything has been smooth, but at least we are not back at the hospital again.  Baby is doing well, and they won't stop my labor after 37 weeks.  Is it wrong to hope a little?  They gave my the steroid shots for the baby's lungs, so I am not so worried. 
• I miss my kids.  This week has been a whirlwind of activities for them at someone's house, the pool, or something to keep them occupied.  The doctor that released me said that I needed to have help with the kids.  My in-laws and my mom have been here just about every day, including our 4AM ER visit, and doing the driving to and from basketball camp for Emma and orthodontic appointments for my kids.  My sister-in-law set up a meal train for the family and we have had so many generous offers for anything and everything.  I have been alone the majority of the days this week, and it is kind of lonely.  Poor Tommy has been trying to telework most days, and has helped me with medicines, doctor visits, grumpy moods, shopping and scheduling the kids out and about.  But, to be honest, it's been a little too quiet sometimes.  Maybe I am feeling a little selfish in how I want my days to go, but I am also worried that the kids are worn out from all the shuttling, and we have 10 days until school starts!  (Oh, and did I mention that I goofed on the supply lists?  What else is new.)

Anyways,  I can't believe the week it has been.  Please keep us in your prayers.

Answer Me This: Don't look at my hair now, singing, and my favorite cup.

It's Sunday!!!  Time for some random questions to get to know me (oh yes, of course you want to know all this about ME!).  

 1. How did you get your name?

I am so glad this question is up first!  This is the MOST asked question about me.  Everywhere.

My name is Frances, named after Saint Francis for my sweet mother who is a 3rd Order Franciscan.
 
That is the easy story.

The longer story comes with my nickname, Fuzzy.  When I was a baby, I had fuzzy hair (short answer).  Being #6 of 7 kids, my older siblings called me "Fuzzy" and it kind of stuck.  I would hear the song "Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair...."  As I got older and went into school, some of my teachers wouldn't use the nickname so I thought maybe it would go away after a while.  Then I got to middle school and high school (Seton School, where my siblings went and my Mom was the choir director) and the teachers knew me by Fuzzy already.  So it continued.  I used to debate (read: panic!) how to introduce myself when I would meet new people, and now it just comes naturally.  LOL  I have an odd voice, am short and somehow I think the name works.  (I tried to find a photo of the infamous hair, but I can't seem to right now.  I will keep looking.)

The funny thing about this?  NONE of my kids have nicknames.  My husband has a whole family with them, and I have a very unique one, and yet not one of my kids get their names shortened or any kind of nicknames.

2. Do you have a set time for prayer in your day?

 

To be very truthful, I do not.  I try to do it, and many times it comes to me as I am in the shower.  As a mom, I need to set the example and I need to do it.  It's just one more thing that I feel that I fail.  We do try to pray the rosary as a family as often as we can!  We know the power of prayer, especially when Our Lady is involved!  (Beautiful Rosary image from my friend Ruth's Loreto Rosary Shop.)

 

3. Did your mom work or stay home (or both)?

 

My mother was a stay-at-home mom for the majority of my life.  As I mentioned before, she was a choir director at the school where we all went to help with tuition, so she worked but not for money to bring home.  My mother has a beautiful voice and has always given her gift back to God by singing at Mass.

By studying the Church documents and Sacred Music as well as the Liturgy, my mother was very qualified to lead the choir and teach us in Sacred Music in our home as well as school.  Latin (at least 2 years) was required for school so we often sang hymns in Latin (I think I could sing most of them for you still!  I can't tell you what Ave Verum Corpus does to me during Lent.  Chills, I tell you.) and parts of the Mass.

4. Do you vote?

 

YES!  Though, when I was in school and found out that my vote "doesn't really count" it annoyed me.  I always take my kids with me when I vote and we have a little lesson on the candidates since they read all the names. (um, in the car to and from voting is my hope, but we have had some very loud "We AREN'T voting for OBAMA!" and the like at voting places.  Ah, the joys of motherhood.)

 

5. What's your favorite drink?

 

Hands down, an iced Coke in a plastic cup.  I love these cups I found at TJMaxx!  It has an old-fashioned feel to it, and the fleur de lis just makes it perfect.  And, I love that it is plastic! I do realize that this has water in it, but pregnant momma has to keep it real.

 

6. How are your photography skills?

I like to think that my skills are okay.  I enjoy taking photos, and I have an awesome DSLR camera, but I am not well-versed in it yet.  I am still learning.  I have a pretty good eye for pictures, I think, and unfortunately, am very critical.  Especially when I am in the pictures!  I have to say that I am happiest when my kids are smiling and they are looking at the camera, but I am getting better at the life photos, you know, with people moving.  I have a much faster shutter speed on my new camera so I am happier to take "action" shots!

See?  This just makes me happy!  

My sweet Emma told Tommy her plans for Mother's Day for me. 


"I am going to let her pick any meal she wants all day.  She will get breakfast in bed, and, Daddy, you need to go to the doctor to get her some medicine to take all the pain away for one day."


I am one blessed Mommy.  (And, apparently, a big complainer too)

God is Always in Charge

Can I ask for some prayers for my sister, Jenn?  We just found out that she needs to have open heart surgery very soon for a congenital defect.  We know that God has a plan and is always in charge and we also know that he listens to our prayers.  My sister is also my Godmother, mother of 2 amazing boys and a homeschooling mom.  She is my "go to" for so much, and she is always giving of herself to others.  She is always busy, always learning, and whenever I am asked if I am her sister, and feel that I need to add a note that they should NOT expect the same from me!  Please keep her and her family in your prayers!  Thank you!

And, while we are on the subject of family and prayers, would you please add my mother- and father-in-law to your list as well?  They are going to have surgery in the next months as well.  Unfortunately, my MIL's heart surgery was a failure and she now needs to have the valve replaced.  We are praying for a safe outcome, and speedy recovery of all! 

And one more: My cousin, mother of 8, just got a cancer diagnosis.   Thank you!

Congratulations, Emma!

Every month the school has a special virtue that the kids all work very hard to emulate.  I got a call from Emma's teacher telling us that Emma received the virtue award for the month of April.  The virtue?  Stewardship and Service!  We are soo proud of my sweet, helpful Emma!

On a side note, I just want to say that Emma's teacher has been so amazing for her this year.  She has pushed and challenged Emma beyond anything that I could have ever imagined, and she has totally blossomed under her guidance.   This has been an amazing year, and I just hope her enthusiasm continues through all the years of school.  We are so blessed to have Emma, and that the Lord provided such a great teacher!!!

Slow down!

Patrick has had an evenful month. No, not activity-wise. Life issues-wise.

We first started with an earthquake, followed by a (over-hyped) hurricane. He was very worried about those things, and kept asking us lots of questions, especially in the evenings, about aftershocks, tornados, etc. He gets to school, and on the first day, he comes home and starts talking about cancer. His teacher is suffering from non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, so he has a permanent substitute at the start of his year. They are praying for her, and the talk of cancer has come up, and he informs me that some people die from cancer. Fast forward 2 days: Mommy is in bed with fever. His first comment to me: "I hope you don't have cancer, Mommy." My poor little man. The next day, he hears about the anniversary of 9/11, and sees a clip of some of the tribute shows coming on. More questions, and he makes the connection of why we are at war, and why his uncles are deployed. More worries, more questions. Oh, and did I mention that we had an elderly friend of the family pass away right before the baptism?

It's so hard! I had no idea that he was going to have to learn these things so quickly, and feel the weight of how scary some of these things are. I know my kids have to grow up, but not now. And not with such heavy issues. I am praying for and with him often, and my prayer is that we can get through this without too much worry, and we all stay safe.

My lesson that I am going to share with you

"Forgive and Forget." I always heard that while I was growing up, and usually it made sense to me. Do just that, in that order. But it always bothered me that I wasn't able to forget. I knew I was supposed to, but I had a hard time and I wondered if I was doing something wrong.

My temperament is mostly melancholic, and for those of you that know me will be "noddin' you head like, yeah." (sorry :)) I hold onto things: I re-live them, re-feel all the emotions involved, good or bad, but mostly bad. It's one of the things I need to work on, and one that often gets confessed in the little box at Church. One of the priests at our church told me something to help me, and it has made me do some thinking. He said (in his Spanish accent), "You won't forget what happened. That is hard to do for your brain. And you must forgive, and forgive every time you think of the hurt."

Whoa. I had never thought of it that way. I kept mulling it over and over all day long, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Jesus said that. "Not just seven times, but seventy times seven." Not just when he hurts you, but each time it comes up in your mind. It is ongoing. And something that is definitely going to change my thinking. That same day I was helping my mother sing at Mass, and the "Prayer of Saint Francis" (my patron saint) was the next song. I have sung that song my whole life, but those words really hit home this time: "It is in pardoning that we are pardoned." I am grateful that I was able to listen to God, and He knew that I needed to hear those things that day. As my mother always says, "Isn't God good?!"

Books (or should I say "B_oks"?)

You ever have a really good book that used to read a lot when you were younger? I have a few like that, and one of them is Jane Eyre, which was a paperback book at our home that was falling apart it was read so many times. I could sit and read that in one day, like many other books, but that was one of my all time favorites. On my shelf is a lovely hardback copy that has Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre, and I thought it was time to get back into reading. I finished Wuthering Heights (which I had never read), and settled in to read my familiar and favorite. First page says something about "adapted by..." Darn. Seriously? I bought an abridged copy of my favorite??? I start reading, hoping I am wrong. Nope. Doggone it! I check the other one. Oh no. The OTHER one is too! That drives me crazy. I'm sure I missed some really good parts in the other book, and WHY would you abridge a good book like that??

I think I need to go to more book sales. (ack. I can't believe I actually said that!) Well, I need to go to more sales with my sister Jennifer (or I should just go to her library and borrow what I want). I don't think I know how to buy the right kind of books, and if I had bought it with her, I would have saved myself some heartache. Sigh. Even though I know it's only part of my favorite, I am still reading it. Skeptically.