I am still here. Still pregnant, and still getting those looks of "soon, right?" even from the nurses at all the doctor's visits I have (no, really, there are LOTS). My OB doctors called me one morning and said they had a meeting about me (I love that they are all taking such good care of me) and their decision was to do the steroid shots for the baby's lungs, just in case. They want to be sure that he is ready in case something else comes up with me. I am about 35 weeks. Official due date (40 weeks) is June 22, I think. The doctors are hoping for 38-39 weeks, but we are ready for anything sooner. I had a sonogram to check on the baby, and he was measuring 5 lb, 10 oz (give or take 14 oz LOL) so he is already a whopper. I have a feeling that they are just going to send me to the hospital after one of my many visits, so I should probably pack my bag. It's hard not having a definite date yet. I am having a c-section again, so I know they should be able to give me a date pretty soon. I hope. To be honest, I am a bit frustrated. I feel trapped. I never know what today or tomorrow will bring, as far as pain or mobility. I am a failure as a mom in my grumpiness, and I feel like I am behind in everything, and am doubting and blaming myself at every turn. It could have *something* to do with the lack of sleep at night, since I am up going to the bathroom almost every hour.

On a positive note, I have found a delicious low-carb ice cream with chocolate and almonds that I am enjoying. It may stay after I've had this baby. :) It's the little things for this diabetic mommy.

First Tooth!

There is no tricking this kid. He placed his tooth on the dresser and gave me instructions. "If you or Daddy is going to give me the money, be sure and leave my tooth because I want to keep it." So, we left the tooth. I like that he kind of figures things out on his own.

These are for Daddy

He was the photographer! Not guilty!

Patrick's First Communion

We had beautiful weather for Mother's Day and Patrick's first Communion. Fr. Melmer was our celebrant and our pastor Fr. Bob Cilinski (GMU shirt) gave Patrick his first. We had a LOVELY party after at our home, and I had a great time being with my family, and having guests. That was the nicest mother's day possible. Patrick did amazing, and I was so proud of him!

Tommy loves to wrestle with the kids and yesterday it involved tickling. Tommy told William to "go get Mommy" and my response was "don't even think about it." It stopped him for a while, but he came up to me a bit later, put his hand up and said, "I'll just think about it, Mommy."

He's such a nut.

Cute Cousins

Donna, William, hiding Patrick, Mac, Emma, Jenna, Anna and Lynsey. Sweet, cute kids!

A View of DC

My kid's view, that is. Our neighbor gave us an old digital camera which I sent along with Patrick and Emma when they got the opportunity to go to Washington, DC with their aunt and grandpa. I love seeing different things that they got to see, and what they considered interesting.
I think the Air and Space Museum was on their agenda. Good picture, too. Emma said they got to touch a Moon Rock, and I asked her why that was special? She didn't know, but when I told her it was a rock from the moon, she kind of gave me a look and said "why would they bring home a rock from there?"

The American Indian Museum was the one that took most of the camera. Emma found some interesting benches and tools to photograph.
Tommy picked up tickets for the group to go to the top of the Washington Monument. I have never done that, and I was super excited that Emma took photos while they were up there.

It was a beautiful day!

I asked Patrick how many steps there are to the top. He said they don't do stairs on the way up because people were getting sick - you know, heart attacks and stuff. LOL

I was kind of hoping for more photos of the people they were with, but I will have to ask Grandpa for those. Their cousin has an IPod touch, and by the end of the day Patrick was asking me for one. Oh boy. I am so grateful that they got to go and enjoy such a great trip with family, especially since I am pretty sure I wouldn't have been making a trip to DC in my condition. They had a really great week! The next day brought more adventures: Take your kids to work day with Daddy!

31 Week Thoughts

Hello! I'm here! *waving* How are you all? I suggest a cup of coffee for this post, if that's what you drink. In my fantasy right now, I would have a big plastic cup full of ice and Coke. Mmmm. I would love to drink coffee, but all I enjoy is the aroma.

I have finally hit it. 31 weeks. The countdown has begun and it's about 8-9 more weeks until the baby comes. Let me tell you, I am ready. Not ready as in the crib is set up, clothes are washed, and we have a name picked, but I am READY for this baby. This pregnancy has been really tough in a lot of ways, and I have been struggling to express myself properly. But, after this past week, I think that God has shown me that I have more to offer to him this time around.

Last week, I took 2 trips to the hospital. The first one was Saturday when I found some blood when I went to the bathroom and was sent home with an antibiotic for a UTI or something like that. Sunday brought some serious pain in my right kidney area, which brought me right back and had me stay there until Thursday. Not really what we were expecting. I don't remember much from Sunday because I was in excruciating pain, and it took a LOT of pain meds to bring my pain down, and the drugs that helped are the ones that make you loopy. One nurse described it as a cocktail ("honey, you're going to feel like you drink a whole pitcher of margaritas") and my OB doctor was afraid I was going to stop breathing with all those drugs in me, that she stayed with the whole time I went down to get an ultrasound. I don't remember her being there, but Tommy does. We thought it was a kidney stone, and we hoped it would pass, but if it didn't the urologist was going to put a stent in to help it drain. (Back story, I had kidney surgery on my LEFT side about 10 years ago. I have had some trouble on that side with almost every pregnancy, so it's odd that this time it's the right.) No stone passed, so I had to be put under to get a stent in from my kidney to bladder, and they said there was a serious infection in the kidney (if you would like the gross details, they found pus coming out). Good news, the pain was MUCH less. The bad news, it has to stay in until the baby is born (or longer) AND I did some serious coughing when I was coming out of anesthesia, so I popped some blood vessels in my eyes. Seriously, we are too far away from Halloween to have these.

I stayed at the hospital for 5 days, with antibiotics flowing and about 4-5 doctors coming in at various times, and the sounds of mommies in labor and new babies crying. The nurses were amazing and super sweet, even when my kids came in and made lots of noises. Tommy was super dad at home, and all the prayers and well-wishes really kept my spirits up. I am so blessed with family and friends. I finally got to go home because of the marvels of modern medicine: at home IV meds. They put a special PICC line (Peripherally, or "prayerfully" in my own word, Inserted Central Catheter) so I could continue the IV antibiotics without staying in the hospital. That's the good news. The bad? Well, I am not supposed to do much. I have to drink TONS of water for the stent not to irritate anything, but it hurts a lot and makes doing anything very difficult. I also don't think my infection has cleared up all the way yet, since I am still very tired. I'll know more next week, I hope. Just a few more days of medicine left, but a longer time "resting" and getting help.

Just wanted to share some quick things that the kids while I was laid up. Patrick would not sit on the bed with me the first time he came to visit. I asked him why not and he said he "didn't want to get my germs."

The kids went to the toy store so Daddy could spoil them a little, and they picked a gift for mommy. He is a nice version, and smells like strawberries, and asks you for a hug all the time.(This is going to sound silly, but he says this little "hello" with the same inflection as my Grandma, and though I am not a fan of talking toys usually, the hello helps me think of her.)

ETA: Oh, and have I mentioned that I have gestational diabetes again? AND I have insulin to take? Just one more thing on my list.

Easter preview

Tommy took the kids to an egg hunt at the Knight's Hall (or, if you ask William, it's where "Scub Scouts" are). It was raining really hard that day so the hunt was inside. Apparently, my William is a good egg hunter.

I asked him if he saw a bunny rabbit. I am not kidding you when he said "Yeah, I saw a man in a bunny rabbit suit." LOL Tommy said he checked him out by looking in the mouth. He's so funny.

Tommy said Patrick was done really fast (very typical of him). They had a really good time, and to be honest I am happy that we haven't really done the whole "easter bunny" thing but they were happy just to have the hunt. Patrick in his Mario Kart shirt (I think I gave him that last Easter). Have I mentioned that there is a bit of crazy in my house? LOL This stinker was the one that the Knights talked to me about the next day. He is so sociable, and most people aren't ready for how much he understands and says.

Spring in the yard

Our neighbors have a tree with a nest that has been there for a long time. I love that the nest is reused each spring. It's a dark photo, but does anyone know what kind of bird this is? My favorite part of the nest is the Easter grass that the first bird used to make the nest.

"How are you feeling?"

*This post has been sitting in my Draft box for a long time. I thought perhaps this week it would be appropriate.*

That is a hard question for me. I do a quick pause before I answer anyone, wondering if they really want the truth. Is this person a smile and "fine" answer or can I complain/confide?

I need to complain. Just a little (please). My home is falling to pieces around me because my energy level is really low, and I have to admit that I am feeling a bit depressed. I have been trying to keep up with the house, and we haven't been wearing stinky clothes, but it has been tough. I feel like something is always hurting: not just a little, but a with-every-movement-I-am-cringing-and-crying-out. Yesterday, I got a burst of energy and decided to clean my kitchen, in preparation for our *new* dishwasher that will be coming (I am SO excited!!). It looked amazing by the time I was finished, but I overdid it. Majorly. I was in so much pain I could barely move - my sciatica hurt, ribs, belly, side, you name it. Could that be any more frustrating? I wanted to clean. (If you know me, you know what a big thing it is for me to say that.) The kids have a day off next week, and Tommy was asking me if I wanted to take them to a museum. Um, not so long has I have a ginormous belly. It would be a very short trip. I just feel very defeated. I go see a chiropractor each week, and I am starting to feel like my list of aches and pains just get longer each time. She did give me some good news: the motion of mopping and vacuuming is very bad for my back. :) Of course, that means I either need to get my kids to do it (HA!) or add more items to my husband's already incredibly long honey do list, hire someone, or just do it myself and suffer the consequences. Gee, so many choices. I did decide to hire someone, and feel REALLY guilty about it, but I hope it will help. I guess I'm just a bit tired of the "when are you due?" questions. I want to lie and say "tomorrow" so they leave me alone. It seems when I say "June" they have this look of "ohmygoodness she's so big and has a long way to go."

*This post is only partly written, due to the circumstances of this past week, which will come in another post.*

William was helping me close the door in the car, and he looks at me and says "Be safe!"

Emma came home from school and had a special hat on with the words "Angel of the Day." She was the best behaved at Mass today. I am so proud of her!

Patrick just came up to me and asked to go to confession again. It's only been a few weeks, but I am proud of him for not being afraid or too nervous. Grace is so awesome!

William has decided to name the baby. He comes up to my belly and talks to him, saying "Good night, Mario." We keep telling him we are not going to name our baby after a video game character, but I don't think he quite gets it.

We happened upon a yard sale the other day, and William very excitedly brought me something. He was in the baby toy section and said "Look, Mommy, Angry Birds!"

• Patrick has been so generous lately. Without any prompting he shared his special St. Patrick's day treasures with his brother and sister, and gave up a very special toy to his cousin. I was SUPER proud of how unselfish he's been, and I *hope* it will continue.


• Emma told me that they did a volcano drill at school today. Patrick rolled his eyes and said "tor-na-do" drill. I thought it was so funny that she called it that, but Patrick was not going to let anyone say that without correction. Silly boy.